起死回生

Charlotte here pretty much sums up my emotions right now Hello! What an akward way to start lol. Whatever it's just gonna be me reading in the future anyways. It been a week and half since we got back from Dubai and Turkey! That was our very first overseas family trip together since my sisters and brother got married and had kids of their own. We rented a bus all to ourselves, and to say the trip was fun is a understatement. It was nice, getting to spend some quality time with them before i leave. When i landed in KL from Istanbul last week, i felt this pang of sadness. Cause by then, i realized that i've got 2 more weeks left till i leave. I was super extra clingy to my family, didn't wanna leave home, hug my mum pretty much all the time and on some days and night, i burst into tears randomly *drama queen* I didn't even wanna talk about leaving for internship, i didn't even wanna start packing, and just try disregard the fact that i am leaving pretty soon...

Be the carrot and just kill them. JK. If you're an absent minded person, who loses the most important stuff or losing shit more than you should, trust me, you're not alone. Been losing stuff and mind since 97. And an optimistic person i am *not*, i try to see the good in every misadventures. Like losing your IC before an important trip to the bank, or dropping your phone in the toilet bowl, or losing you apartment keys in Paris. I believe that every single thing that happened was either to be a reminder or for me to be less unaware. Because to me, an accident become a pointless one if you don't ponder and take lessons from it. I'm synonymous with losing or misplacing things. I lost my phone, my IC, lots of money, left my car keys somewhere really random, lost my phone in the airplane and the list goes on. Being absent minded, clumsy, reckless and impulsive makes me, me. But sometimes, even i am tired of taking care of myself :') But like i said, here are so...

Could i be lonely if i am Then how could i be I have all these love around me But why am i still looking out for you Could i be desperate for love if i am Then how could i be I could just settle for somebody Yet, i still linger around Glued to the thoughts of you.  Could i be needing someone new if i am Then how could i be I can’t even take another step To further myself away from you Could this be the sense of remorse Yes, this may be I took me losing  To realize That all i need  Was indeed you. Nostalgic,  how you feel and just how much  i hold on to memories For somehow it makes me feel the sense of still  being connected to you.

I’ve finally come to a point of realization where i will not change my nature, eventho people might call me stupid or fake, for being genuinely nice and for letting people screw me over and take advantage of me. People can talk shits behind my back, stab me & as a normal human being, of course i’d be pissed, i'd be hurt. But after sometime, after i talked about it, cried and write my feelings down in form of words, i would still forgive them, and treat them nicely. Because i am happy doing that and i have no particular loss whatsoever. It doesn't cost you anything to be nice.   I don't think anything is ever worth cutting ties for. Be it family ties, friendship, relationship, especially because of arguments and misunderstandings. Because everything can be fixed. But different people have difference perspective and limits. So do know your limits. If the tie you have is unhealthy & toxic, there's no harm to remove it.  Of course i know when do i...

  The first time i came, i ate their Gorogoro Ramen, and unfortunately, i forgot how it tasted like lol. So this time i ordered their regular ramen, and man it is still as good. I ordered the regular size and it was a decent sized meal. Both filling and yummy! Taste wise, this was a good regular ramen. Price wise, maybe a little pricey, but hey, it's Japan. This is the ever so famous Harajuku crepes, but this time i ate this below the great Tokyo Tower. I got the banana cheesecake crepe, and heck yes it was bomb! The service was damn fast, like i literally just ordered and got my hot fresh crepe right away. I've always loved bananas as desserts, and pair it up with a slice of cheesecake, caramel, and whipped cream all stuffed in a crepe, it is a perfect dessert! Cookie Time! The first time i had Cookie Time was during our trip to New Zealand back in 2012. They have just opened up their Tokyo branch and yes the cookies are the same and still as good! Not talki...

I, am at a very low state of spiritual health. I feel so lost, so empty. I am driven by my goals, and the hereafter are no where to be seen in the picture. I am lost in the ambition of living the perfect life in Dunya. Money, status, achievement. Its all about me, here. I long to be the person i used to. Then one who prayed, without being asked, and who prayed sincerely. Theres was no hint of arrogance, but mere love for my Lord. Sin are synonymous with my daily life. I neglect prayers, i seldom remember my Lord. My action says sin and my words are sins. What kind of person have i become? I am lucky that i have grown up in a fairly religious family. I am lucky that i have a mother & a father that guided me to love my Lord since day one. A mother and a father that taught me how important prayer is. I am lucky that my parents instill religious moral to my heart. But what have i become now? They would be very disappointed, If only they knew. Now, i am out of my...

At the age of 19, i have come to realized that relationship does not matter, atleast for now.  I have lived my whole teenage life without having a single boyfriend (but lotsa crushes 😛). And tell you what, i'm fine with it. I have seen kids my age and kids younger than me dying to be in a one, because they are sorrounded by friends with girlfriends and boyfriends. I know that it is unfair to say all 19 years old are immature because i have met some that are very matured and wise enough to know what to do because maturity cannot be defined by number. But kids, you gotta listen to what i am about to say! I mean I'd be a hypocrite to tell you that i never want to be in a relationship at this young age. Even i sometimes would love to have "that special someone". But then when i think about it again, is not my priority, atleast not for now. I think that this is the phase where i get find myself, my passion, my goals, my ambition and focus on it first, before anyth...