CARCASSONNE, HERE I COME!

Charlotte here pretty much sums up my emotions right now

Hello!
What an akward way to start lol. Whatever it's just gonna be me reading in the future anyways.

It been a week and half since we got back from Dubai and Turkey! That was our very first overseas family trip together since my sisters and brother got married and had kids of their own. We rented a bus all to ourselves, and to say the trip was fun is a understatement. It was nice, getting to spend some quality time with them before i leave.

When i landed in KL from Istanbul last week, i felt this pang of sadness. Cause by then, i realized that i've got 2 more weeks left till i leave. I was super extra clingy to my family, didn't wanna leave home, hug my mum pretty much all the time and on some days and night, i burst into tears randomly *drama queen* I didn't even wanna talk about leaving for internship, i didn't even wanna start packing, and just try disregard the fact that i am leaving pretty soon. It's annoying when you're cengeng, and i've had this problem since my nickname was cidot and waaaaay before that. Being a crier is still a slight defect on my personality that i'm still struggling to come to terms with. And mind you, by being a crier i mean i cry at happy things, sad things, depressing things, disney movies, songs, animes, being in disneyland, people selling by the roadside and my nephews falling from the slide. In other words, you can call me an emotionally turbulent person *sigh*

I'll be leaving next week, approximately 6 days from now. It's safe to say that my emotions are a little bit stable as of now. I'm not as sad, heck i'm flippin excited! Because yes, it's just 3 months i get it, but it kind of a leap of faith for me nom saying? Cause like i said, i've never been apart from my family and that sort of thing. And ever since way back then, i've been pigeonholing myself to the thoughts of "NO WAAAAAY I CAN'T EVER AND WILL NEVER BE APART FROM MY FAMILY". I've always had this idea of not being able to survive if my family is not around my perimeter *psychooooo* It's not cause i'll become handicapped and not being able to do stuff, cause i'm pretty independent myself, but i feel like i am quite dependent on my family emotionally.

I know, i am definitely overreacting. But being a super clingy-person-who-loves-her-family-and-nephews-and-niece 21 years old, who has never left home without her fam for even a week, 3 months is big deal. But then again, 3 months will definitely pass with a blink of an eye! Right?

So, this next 3 months is gonna be a hella cathartic experience for me. Being milessss away from home for the first time, without the comfort of my mom's cooking, my ayah's lecture, my annoying yet super concerned siblings, and my happy pills = nephews and a niece of mine! :c

It's not just about not having my family around, it's the working in the kitchen experience itself. Back in diploma, i had to endure 12 hours of being in the kitchen for 6 days a week, and to me that was, damn brutal. But this time, i'm pretty much ascending to another level. I'll be in France, a country i have only visited once before, during Ramadhan, which pretty much means i'll be dead from 18 hours of fasting while having to run around like chicken with no head in the kitchen. And having to converse in a language i got an "A" from during diploma but mind you, its french for uber noob sort of thing HAHAHAHAHA. So i'm pretty much hopeless from here.  You expect me to ask them "Tu t'apple comment?" "Tu habite ou? " everyday? Pfttt they'll probably get super irritated and cringed at my lame french speaking skill and vocabs and probably just tie me in a potato bag and toss me right into Seine river to send me back to Malaysia :')

I also will have to miss Raya Aidilfitri and Eid Adha my oh my. No rendang, no ketupat palas, no sirap, no solat raya, no femeliii oh god.  But no pain, no gain right. And it's common sense, that in life, you get some, you lose some. And plus, i got myself an Indomie Rendang to compensate the feeling of loss of not being able to stuff myself with the heavenly taste of raya food! On a serious note, come to think of it, i'm quite fortunate to be able to get the chance of doing my internship all the way in France. It's not something you get everyday, and it's not something i ever thought of doing. And now i've got no choice but to face the ride, and i'll never know what i am capable of doing unless i give it a go no? So i'm definitely gonna try to make the best out of my 3 months there man. It'll be hard the first few weeks in, i know, but like always, time will heal. And i need to stop overreacting right now, it's just for 3 months you piece of crepe *smh*

Well that was pretty lengthy, but i just miss writing, and i am just accommodating my tendencies of documenting bits and pieces of my life for my future self. That's what you do when you are an extremely sentimental person pls lol at me

Whatever it is, i wish alllll of my ADC friends the best of luck and may we make ourselves, our chefs, parents and our future grown up selves, proud, SUPER PROUD!

Will be writing more when i'm there i hopeeeeeeeeeee!