A penny for my thoughts wouldn't hurt right?

At the age of 19, i have come to realized that relationship does not matter, atleast for now. 

I have lived my whole teenage life without having a single boyfriend (but lotsa crushes 😛). And tell you what, i'm fine with it. I have seen kids my age and kids younger than me dying to be in a one, because they are sorrounded by friends with girlfriends and boyfriends. I know that it is unfair to say all 19 years old are immature because i have met some that are very matured and wise enough to know what to do because maturity cannot be defined by number. But kids, you gotta listen to what i am about to say! I mean I'd be a hypocrite to tell you that i never want to be in a relationship at this young age. Even i sometimes would love to have "that special someone". But then when i think about it again, is not my priority, atleast not for now.

I think that this is the phase where i get find myself, my passion, my goals, my ambition and focus on it first, before anything else. Also, this is when you get to learn to love yourself before loving anyone else. You get to embrace who you are, and do as you please, without having anyone else to limit or stop you, because there's no one to tell you what to do (except your parents of course). You get to live your life your own way, you get to talk to anyone without getting in trouble and not having to take care of his/ her feeling & also without having to consider his/her point of view. You get to live and decide based on your point of view alone, how exciting is that?! This is also the phase of pleasing your parents, make them proud and take care of them, before you take care of someone else, because it  totally unfair fo you to shut them out for a boy you met last year. They have been around all your lives. 

I don't know what love for that specific someone means nor do i know all the magical things about it. Is love that phone call every night only to talk about how their day went? Or is it when he offers you his jacket? Maybe love is magical, just like how it is potrayed in the movies, or maybe it is not. I certainly have no idea what it is about. Maybe later in life i'll find out about it. But right now, having a partner is not my cup of tea. For me, i am fine being with myself. 

In my opinion, i don't want to waste my feeling for someone not worthy. I am that type of person that if i want to be in a relationship, i want it to be the only relationship and it'll eventually last until marriage. That is why at such "tender" age, i avoid to be in one, because i know how immature i am to tolerate or to commit. I have seen some of my friends cried for boys at the age of 16/17. Seriously, none of them deserved to waste their tears like that. Teen-hood suppose to be a fun and adventurous phase of your life. You can cry for your fiance/husband later, because when you're young, boys are not worth all the tears. Especially immature fboy 🙌🏼

Someday when the time comes, that is when i am matured enough, he'll come, because there is someone out there for me and i am very certain of it. But right now, it is not my priority and i couldn't care less about it. He'll be here when the time the right (Tori Kelly told me this i swear) Right now, it's me, myself and i before anyone else (except for people that matters of course) So kids, chill the f down! 😂